So here we are in the hopes of maintaining our regular lively, witty, and often bizarre conversations. More importantly, we're here in the hopes of remaining friends. We've done amazingly well in dealing with each other so far, and I think we would all agree life would be less something without one another. So, here's to us...vive le singe de la pipe! *Monkey dances and plays symbols.*


Thursday, July 1, 2010

Hungry

I picked up Hungry, Crystal Renn's autobiography on her struggle as a model with anorexia and exercise bulimia. It truly makes me cry. I see so much of myself in her story. She's almost exactly my age, and has gone through so many of the same things to get where she is.

If you don't know who she is, she is a plus size model now, she started out as a model way too thin for her body. She was Jean Paul Gautier's first plus sized model, I believe, and she really gained fame when he designed a dress just for her for the finale of one of his shows after she gained 60 or 70 pounds.

She's now 5'9", bra size 38C, 42" hips, 30" waist, dress size 12 (approx.), shoe size 10.

I am 5'7", bra size 38C or 36D, I don't know my measurements, dress size 12-14, shoe size 10-11.

She gives a girl like me so much hope for confidence in my body that I'm literally in tears.

Here is a picture of her on the runway:



After the trip to NOLA I was uplifted to have all those women, strippers, the ideal of sexuality (they really were like the ones you see on TV and in movies) surround me and tell me how adorable a beautiful I was, and fawn over my breasts and curves.

What's more is my boyfriend. He's so supportive. He doesn't give a shit if I lose weight. He just wants me to be happy and confident enough in my body to show it off to him. He tells me all the time I'll never be skinny, and I'm not supposed to be. He touches my body, my rounded stomach, my full hips, he squeezes and fondles. And when I get uncomfortable with it he stops and says, "hey, I'm just loving you."

I better stop now cause I'm crying. I just wanted to express thanks to people who love me just the way I am. It's working.

K.Z.
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3 comments:

  1. duessaJuly 2, 2010 at 10:56 AM

    We would never want you to be anyone else but you. As long as you're happy, we're happy. That's it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Humble NarcissistJuly 2, 2010 at 7:05 PM

    While you always hear people yammer on about how you have to love yourself first before you should try to get others to love you, etc., it often takes someone else loving you for you (just the way you are) for you to start loving yourself. Often it needs to be someone you're in a relationship with. Glad you're finally in one that helps you realize you're awesome. That means it's a good one ;-)

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  3. AnonymousJuly 5, 2010 at 9:14 AM

    It's funny, people also so often say you shouldn't rely on others for things like that. But, we're human. We NEED people to love and and approve. And, as long as we learn our own worth from it, there's nothing wrong with that, either.

    K.Z.

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