Support Your Local Strippers

So, now for the pictures and stories NOT on Facebook...

Excited and ready, we hit the ground running. Bourbon street in the early evening. And the sun went down, things heated up. We started at the beginning and walked all the way down past the gay district (with was celebrating NOLA Pride weekend, more on that later) to Lafitte's bar.

On this adventure I had a hand grenade, hard cider, some shots of I don't know what, and a hurricane, which was basically just a giant shot! Needless to say, I was out of it.

We had food at a hole-in-the-wall grill in the gay district, and it was some of the best food we had the whole trip. We went three times.

I insisted on going into the Hustler store, hehe that was fun, and, of course, a strip club.

Lipstixx was the club of choice and it was actually fun! The strippers seem to love it when girls come in, especially when they are willing to participate. You know me, of course I was willing! They did all kinds of things! Put dollars in my lap and did headstands with their stuff in my face to get them, put dollars in between my breasts. You guys, strippers LOVE my breasts. They couldn't get enough of them! They didn't just take money for them, they did stuff without payment! Shook their heads between them, squeezed them, kissed them...it was crazy! They talked to me while they danced on stage, thanked me for supporting them, kissed me on the cheek when I left. And, that's not even the end! We went to another strip club on our last night...more on that in a minute.

So we went home, I was pretty wasted, and got up fairly early without a hangover. We set out on a walk in the French quarter, then to Emeril's NOLA for lunch. Very swanky, ridiculously good food. OMG. Then we walked to the French Market for a while, then Margaritaville, then back for a little rest. Then, out again! To the square and cathedral, Cafe Du Monde for dinner. Then the ghost tour! Always fun and educational. Of course, you know me, I knew more about the LaLaurie house already, but it was still fun. Of course, we stopped at Lafitte's and had infamous Voodoo daquiris. Yikes! Then the tour ended at the absinthe house, which is now legal as of 2007! Had to try...and did...yuck! But I drank it anyway for the experience. Needless to say, without meaning to, I was wasted again. But, apparently I'm not a terrible drunk, because we still went out for a yummy dinner. I started to get dizzy, so Brian insisted we go back. We did, and I don't remember much.

The next day, up early again! Walking walking walking. The riverwalk, the aquarium, Mulate's, which was too expensive, Walking walking walking, nap. Then up again, a quick bite, and the voodoo tour. That was a good tour for me. Learned a lot, and got a quartz necklace blessed by a practitioner at an altar, as well as some other voudou stuff.

Then, more food. And, finally, our last night on the town!

We discovered that Bourbon St. had lost it's charm after the first time. So, we walked around looking for something to do, feeling ready to quit. Then we hit the gay district. The gays know how to party! Their part of the street was the best part! Clean, fun, good drinks! So we partied with them for a while. It was like something out of Queer as Folk! GoGo dancers on the bar in their underwear, gay men and women, and straight women, dancing and drinking to thumping remixes of Cher and Britney, so much fun!

Then we walked down to find and ATM and thought, it's hot and nasty, let's settle somewhere. Where? A strip club!

It may have been the best time of the trip. It was more upscale than the first, the dancers were more talented and prettier. And they LOVED us! I'm not kidding! They hardly hustled us at all. ONE girl tried, and then that was it. Brian laughed his ass off at me, because I was flushed with embarrassment most of the time. They came at me all the time! They played with my boobs, asked me questions, one girl even took most of my top off and did all kinds of stuff to me, they all kept threatening to steal me from Brian, he was so proud! Even the waitress was asking me if my breasts were real, what size they were, telling me how adorable I was. They almost totally ignored Brian, it was so funny! They thanked me and kissed me and hugged me for coming and supporting them, we were there from 11pm to 4am! Towards the end, the "best personality" dancer pulled me up on stage! I oh so reluctantly go up. I could feel my face burning. Brian was smiling like "go!" So I crawled up there, laughing nervously and blushing like crazy! She danced with me, put dollars down my dress, danced around me, while I was trying not to fall over in laughter and embarrassment. Turns out, she wasn't supposed to do that, so the hostess asked us to stop, but with a smile on her face and very quietly so as not to embarrass anyone. The dancer laughed and kissed me and thanked me. People laughed and clapped.

We ended it on our favorite dancer (man was she talented!) and gave her the last of the ones we had, and got up. We said goodbye to the dancers, they were so sweet! As we did, the DJ gave an announcement. He thanked the "couple who just got up" for coming, said they really enjoyed having us, and that "they almost never really enjoy people but they enjoyed us."

As we left the club, Brian suddenly had to pee. He asked the bouncer if he could run in real quick. The bouncer said, "are you kidding? You got a standing ovation from the DJ and dancers, that NEVER happens!"

What a night. Brian is a straight man, and has been to more than his fair share of clubs, and he said he's NEVER had an experience like that. He was proud. And I got to live a little fantasy of mine! I got onstage at a strip club!

We ate at our favorite gay establishment again, and went back to the hotel, crawling in at about 6am. The next day we had a lot of time between checkout and flight. We tried some walking and shopping but were just ready to go home. We stayed in the lobby and while, then had some food, while Brian ran one last errand for me (my feet were hurting too much) I met a young Russian Jew who was there for a conference and she rode in the taxi with us. She was nice and we talked academics. Then we got to the airport, I read a trashy novel while Brian poked fun at me, and we went home!

Whew!